Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Perspective

I had the opportunity to take my daughter, who is 6, on a trip to curaƧao. For a single mom this was a really exciting gift to say the least. The time there was truly amazing. We both got the chance to snorkel and swim with a family of squid...which was a life changing experience for me. The squid were iridescent with polka dots and they changed color too! They didn't seem to be afraid of me, merely cautious. It was so very wonderful!

I also saw a seahorse!! A moray eel, parrotfish, lion fish, sea slugs, an octopus, puffer fish and much much more. If you have never had the chance to snorkel and it appeals to you i would definitely add it to your bucket list. One of my favorite parts about it is how completely quiet and peaceful it is immediately when you put your head in the water. There is nothing but blue water and a whole different world to explore. (As long as you are brave enough..right Kayce?!)

The really big thing about this trip though was just getting to spend time with friends. To sit and tell stories at the end of the day. We would all meet at night and they would load the video and photos of the day from their dives (I didn't scuba dive) and we would watch the screen together in anticipation of the next sea life that would pop up and wow us. We would swap funny stories about the day or maybe mostly make fun of my equal parts love and fear of the huge ocean and what bungle it lead to that day. (: We would sit outside on the balcony every morning and listen to the exotic birds calling while we sipped coffee and stared at the teal blue sea. We spent time together. You know, that elusive thing called quality time that we all want so desperately. 

When we left this morning Charlie cried. When we all hugged goodbye this afternoon to go our separate ways in Miami we both cried. As I sat on the plane I thought about how much my heart hurts at times that I don't have my mom to call and tell all my stories to and I thought about how I have created a family around me of people whom I love so much that it breaks my heart to leave them. I think that in this life we are given gifts (or we find them for ourselves) and all we have to do is have the perspective to appreciate them. We have the choice to wallow in what we don't have or create a life we love. And yes, the trip was amazing but the reason we cried wasn't for the beautiful squid we were leaving behind it was for our family. 










Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Little girl, wee muse.





This girl is my gift in this life. She is my wee blonde muse. She amazes me every day. If you look at her quickly you might not guess that she is only 6. I believe that she really does have a very old soul. That she is as wise as she is funny.

When I took her into the studio it was with the intention to make some beautiful portraits which I knew wouldn't be hard, but what happened was really interesting to me. She led the session. She went right over and picked out what she wanted to wear from my dress rack (an adult gown of course). And then I just kind of let her do her thing. I was pretty quiet other than getting her to giggle a couple of times so I could capture her amazing dimples. ( And I intend to share more portraits from this session soon. )

I love this portrait of her. To me it encapsulates what childhood or maybe our dream childhood looks like. For those of us that grew up with that vintage rocking horse in ours or a friends house it's a real symbol of being a kid. (And maybe you can even feel getting pinched by those damn metal springs!) We all have that idea, or dream of what our childhood looked like or what we wanted it to look like. This portrait to me is about the ideal childhood.

This portrait also tears at my heart because while I see her as a tiny girl on a horse I also see so much more. Maybe it's because I am a mom and that's just how we think. But I see the fleeting moments that truly slip by so quickly. I see her in elementary school giggling with her girlfriends, I see her with her first crush, I see her in high school, I see her learning to drive, I see her moving away from me...

And again I am drawn back to being so grateful that I can do something to capture these moments for both of us. That I can stop time. Someday she will see this portrait and know that this was where she began her ride. The ride of her life, the ride away, the getting dressed up in clothes way too big, the dreaming of being a big girl...whatever this image holds for her.

I am simply grateful that I was there.

                                                                                        In life and love. - Jen